BUILT WITH BOLDGRID
- “Out of all of the paths to know the divine, I know I’m going in the right direction because my “G-d” gets into a ditch with me when one needs digging.”
- “Because I didn’t hear an audible voice of God in my time of need, I went in the right direction.”
- We demonstrate acceptance when we end our struggles against it.
- When I experience my apotheosis, which none but I will witness, I want to ensure that I can welcome the event of Death on the Horizon as I would a dear friend
I Know My Way
After Hearing Mine, Perhaps You May Know Yours
Out of all of the paths to know the divine, I know I’m going in the right direction because my “G-d” gets into a ditch with me when one needs digging.
I know I’m going the right way because my “G-d” knows I know, I am about to walk straight off a cliff, but if I am made to feel unworthy, like, I don’t know where I am going, I step off the cliff, even if I wasn’t going to, out of sheer stubborn assertion. Then Love will carefully climb down and tend my wounds.
I know I’m in the right place because unconditional Love, which had its own agency that would not model when I was a kid, figured out the world in my mind.
Because despite scary, confusing, then hurtful incidents occurring in my life, when the gun was against my Mother’s head, she preferred to dare Dad to do it, then I won the right to my passive, Teddy Bear Guardian, the teddy was a totem. Teddy was a Shield within, watching over my simple, boyish, trusting desire to accept the best I saw in all, my “Esprit,” a pure nugget of all that is me. My teddy bear guardian watched over me until mailing to my “sis” this last year, after her husband of over 35 years passed suddenly from COVID-19. Teddy had somehow always been with me for 47 years.
Because I didn’t hear an audible voice of God in my time of need, I went in the right direction.
Because I never had more than I could handle, I lived my unique way. I always knew I would die, but its understanding lay in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.
I was alone there.
UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY ALONE, AND MY END WAS IMMINENT.
There were no signs; no relatives or dogs came to greet me. I knew in my bones that there was no certainty whatsoever of anything beyond my Death. Since I faced my own demise, I watched, asked, and searched for what would prepare my spirit to end. Last year, I had examined all, read everything I could find, watched ALL THE THINGS to prepare, EXCEPT to fully put myself entirely in the intimate moment of my personal end.
I thought to myself, “So, this will happen.”
“How can I be OK with it? “
“How may I be ready?”
That was when a pure fire of Truth occurred to me, “Well, as long as I have done my best and know it, then that is ‘good enough for me. And ‘to hell’ with anyone or anything my best is not good enough for!”
In my hands lay a compressed Ingot of Truth, after long years of being lost, at last something solid to build upon.
This story is how I came to understand the simple Truth of Life from within my own context. This was how my logic functioned when I arrived in the Valley of the Shadow of My Own Death. I do not share my story to imply, nor hint, at any disregard for another tale, or the experience of their own context, or the journey they have made to Truth. Each has their own.
Due to the inherently factual nature of the irrefutable, what is not up for debate is that we are all gonna die. Those who accept that fact choose to ‘be’ regardless, yet go beyond that in-kind action, despite knowing there is no reward or punishment, demonstrating what a “maturing adult human” looks like.
Mortality has no regard for your experience. It sheds no tears for your background. It holds no regrets for any missed opportunities. Death has no thought of wealth. Your Death is not a thing or an angel, a demon, or a god; it is an inescapable process. As common as sunshine and as devoid of emotion as moonlight.
We demonstrate acceptance when we end our struggles against it. We show Love when we stop judging ourselves. When end holding sticks up, measuring against all things. Others are necessarily invested in their own journey to the Final Experience. When I experience my apotheosis, which none but I will witness, I want to ensure that I can welcome the event of Death on the Horizon as I would a dear friend. A friend who inspired me to hold constant watch so that in all of the hours I am fortunate to have between now and then, be it one or ten thousand and ten, they will be happier and more present than they otherwise might have been.